The Last Word
Sharing your most personal story can strengthen leadership, build trust, and inspire deeper human connection.
By John O’Leary
“WHAT IS MOST personal is most universal.” – Henri Nouwen For a long time, I didn’t believe that quote applied to me.
I believed my story was too personal. Too painful. Too marked by scars – visible and invisible – to be of much use to anyone else. So, I tucked it away. I kept it hidden for years.
My eventual journey toward sharing my story – and discovering my why – didn’t begin on a big stage like the one I’ll step onto in Nashville later this spring.
It began twenty years ago in a small classroom with three Girl Scouts.
At the time, I was running a real estate development company. I loved the smell of freshly cut wood, the rhythm of a job site, and the camaraderie of a construction crew. I was married, enjoying life, and rarely – if ever – spoke about the fire I’d been in as a child, the one that left me visibly scarred. Even my closest friends didn’t know that part of my story.
That changed when my mom and dad wrote a book about our family’s journey through that fire. They printed 200 copies—not to sell, but simply to say thank you to the people who helped us along the way. That book, Overwhelming Odds, quietly changed my life.
After reading it, one woman invited me to speak to her daughter’s Girl Scout troop. She asked if I would share what I had learned about overcoming challenges in life.
I didn’t want to accept. But I did.
A few weeks later, I showed up nervous, sweaty, and unsure I belonged in front of a room. I hid behind a podium and my notes and spoke about Abraham Lincoln’s resilience instead of my own story. It felt safer that way.
What I didn’t realize then was that my reluctance wasn’t humility – it was fear. Fear that if I shared what was most personal, it wouldn’t resonate. That it would make others uncomfortable. That it would expose parts of my story I had worked hard to keep hidden.
I hadn’t yet learned the truth Henri Nouwen articulated so clearly: what is most personal is often most universal.
We all carry stories we hesitate to share – experiences that feel too specific, too tender, too personal. So, we edit them. We soften them. Or we keep them hidden altogether.
But what I’ve learned over the past twenty years is this: when we share not to shock or impress, but to connect, we create space for others to recognize themselves.
If there’s a part of your story you’ve been hesitant to share, consider this – it may not be a liability. It may be the very thing that allows others to trust you, follow you, and feel less alone.
Because what is most personal, when shared with humility and grace, has a way of becoming surprisingly universal. In sharing our story, we don’t just discover our voice. We discover our purpose. And in doing so, we invite others to discover theirs as well.
A Sneak Peek at John’s Session
at the MHEDA Convention
While the story begins with my journey, that’s not the purpose of our time together. It’s about what’s possible in your life and leadership going forward. During our session, attendees can expect to learn:
Clear, compelling research on gratitude. Why gratitude is not just a nice idea, but a proven driver of resilience, engagement, and performance.
The most powerful tool a leader has at their disposal. A tool that costs nothing, requires no title, and has the ability to transform professional relationships, deepen trust, and strengthen personal connections.
One transformational question. A simple question asked daily by one of the most successful leaders of our time – one that elevated his professional journey to a literal Hall of Fame career, and in answering it consistently, created an extraordinary ripple effect throughout
his community.
Learn more at MHEDA’s 2026 Convention session “The Power of One” on Tuesday, May 5 at 3:00 p.m. Presented by John O’Leary, speaker, author & podcaster.
